Friday, 6 September 2013
100 Word Challenge: Oliver and Sophie
It was one of those days when you knew something bad was going to happen. Suddenly I heard a crack. I fell through the pavement into a dark, damp,slimy cave. I took one step and felt a shiver down my spine. Devils and dragons, goblins to mystical creatures everywhere. I was tempted to run but the dragons stopped me. I was petrified of the devils and the mystical creatures I saw the light and took my chance to run the dragons took off after me but were too slow to catch me and never ever spoke a word again.
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Good morning Oliver and Sophie,
ReplyDeleteGreat scary story. I especially like the beginning; it sets the tone very well for what comes next.
Just one small suggestion: make sure to double check for punctuation. I think that the last sentence would have worked a little better if it had been broken down into two or three shorter ones.